The Ventriloquist

[Marie]

With his dummy on his knee, he started going through his usual dumb blonde jokes, when a
blonde in the second row stood on her chair and started shouting:
'I've
heard enough of your stupid blond jokes,' she screamed. 'What makes you think
you can stereotype women in that way? What does the colour of a person's hair
have to do with her worth as a human being? It's people like you who keep women
like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our
full potential as people. It's all because you and your kind continue to
perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general - and
all in the name of humour.'

The embarrassed ventriloquist
began to apologise, whereupon the blonde yelled, 'You stay out of this. I'm
talking to that little bastard on your
lap

[Marie]

How do you know this Marie? Were you THAT blonde in question??

IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

An attractive blonde from Cork arrived at the Casino and bet
twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES!
YES! I WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

[d_dan]

heres oie that a bit different...
smart blond joke

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay, " says the lawyer, "your turn".

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you, " and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

[Marie]

I like it!