Universal Truths

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Universal Truths

Postby gfalls » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:39 am

Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
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Postby Mickthepieman » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:52 am

36. Butted toast will always land butted side down when you drop it.
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Postby Myfeckin FTO » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:07 pm

The amount of cows on the road is inversely proportional to the amount of Dublin jackeens on an FTO Ireland roadtrip! :wink:

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Postby Mickthepieman » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:26 pm

Now Now play nice, although on refection you are right :wink: .
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Postby gfalls » Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:56 pm

Mickthepieman wrote:36. Butted toast will always land butted side down when you drop it.


And a cat will always land on its feet. Wonder what would happen if you buttered the back of a cat, and dropped it..????
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Postby Sebastian » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:06 pm

ROFL
no1. manual GR 96 l no2. tip GR 95 l no3. manual Gpx 95 l no.4 manual Gpx 95 l no.5 manual Gpx 96 l no.6 tip GR 95 - in 2011 took a break from the FTO scene
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Re: Universal Truths

Postby Masa » Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:55 pm

gfalls wrote:Universal Truths


5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.


Well nope :p

For me it was 35383773 which translated into " she feck " :p
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Postby optical illusion » Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:48 pm

Thanks for that!! ROFL!!!

Here's some I can really relate to:

Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug

You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.

Again ROFL!!
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Postby colm_mcm » Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:51 pm

Nice one gfalls, brilliant stuff!
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Postby mcgon1979 » Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:20 pm

very enjoyable post Gfalls!!!! everyone definitely had a dog run into their school. classic!!!
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Postby Bernard » Fri Aug 15, 2008 6:07 am

mcgon1979 wrote:everyone definitely had a dog run into their school. classic!!!


Usually mine :roll:
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Re: Universal Truths

Postby fatboyfat7 » Fri Aug 15, 2008 3:52 pm

''23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.''

Not if your driving a Punto...
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Postby Marie » Mon Aug 25, 2008 4:45 pm

Never kick a fresh piece of crap!

If everything is going the wrong way, your in the wrong F**king lane!

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
When you're good, you're good....... but when you're great you're ME
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Postby gfalls » Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:29 pm

....and never run with scissors..!
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Postby johnny » Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:21 pm

Why do dogs hate it when you blow in their face yet love to stick their head out the window of a moving car?
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Postby optical illusion » Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:59 pm

I don't think they're expecting it when you do, plus air velocity is a constant, rather than random, thing.

I've seen so many people get nipped on the nose this way - pushing their luck too much - and then they are shocked - what were you expecting, you're pissing the dog off!! :D
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Postby johnny » Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:04 pm

optical illusion wrote:I don't think they're expecting it when you do, plus air velocity is a constant, rather than random


Thanks a lot for ruining my joke! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby optical illusion » Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:52 pm

Every so often, the scientist in me breaks out, bloody uni!

Just clip me round the ear or something! :lol:
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Postby mcgon1979 » Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:40 am

optical illusion wrote:I don't think they're expecting it when you do, plus air velocity is a constant, rather than random, thing.


someone needs to try a hair dryer (on cool of course)... See if he likes that... Let us know please. It's not a car, but it is a constant. and hopefully he'll be expecting it.
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Postby gfalls » Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:23 am

mcgon1979 wrote:
optical illusion wrote:I don't think they're expecting it when you do, plus air velocity is a constant, rather than random, thing.


someone needs to try a hair dryer (on cool of course)... See if he likes that... Let us know please. It's not a car, but it is a constant. and hopefully he'll be expecting it.


I just tried a hair dryer on the German Shepherd across the road. Now I need a tetanus shot. So much for scientific research, cheers mcgon :(
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Postby mcgon1979 » Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:49 am

LMAO... science is never easy, but its fruitful and you have done us proud...
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